Crazy in Love

You ever love somebody so much, and didn't know why??

It's been like this for for months now for me..
In a love so strong, you think it's one sided.. ain't no way they feel the same way about me...

You put yourself on an emotional roller coaster
No one taller or shorter than you can ride

All alone in this breathtaking experience, no one to smile to
No one to share the joy of the ride with
It makes you bitter

Why is this ride so breathtaking and I'm here alone...
You become insecure because of your lonesome

Wanting to become apart of their privacy
Knowing everything thats going on in front, and behind your back

"I know they probably cheating on me"
Thoughts in your mind begin to become blocks in your heart

How can you manage love, when your heart is blocked with negativity and insecurity??

I can answer that ?...
YOU CANT

I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME BEING INSECURE, TOO MUCH TIME WORRYING ABOUT WHO HE WAS TALKING TO WHEN I'M NOT AROUND...IS HE REALLY WHERE HE SAY HE IS?? ...
WHAT WAS THE REAL REASON WHY HE AIN'T ANSWER THE PHONE WHEN I CALLED?? Was he sleep??
WHO HE BOOKIN' IN THE CLUB?? WHO IS HE DANCING WITH AND HOW IS HE DANCING WITH THEM??

I was scarred before, and said I forgave you... I didn't
Blunt after Blunt I try to suppress the memories with clouds of T.H.C fail

The only way I can love you is if I remain Shay!!!

The Crazy girl you met in February,
The Friend that never judged you after hearing secrets
The friend that held you when you cried
The friend that fed you
The friend that kept a smile on ur face
The Woman that respects you
The Woman that knows and loves pleasing every part of you
The Woman that desires you and only you
The Woman that wants everything to do with you

I couldn't enjoy the ride because I was scared..
Scared to put my heart up for grabs and you not fight for it
Too scared to open my eyes...

You were right next to me the whole time.. There goes my baby

I was trapped in a body that didn't see love coming from the angles of which u sent..

My eyes are open and the fear is no more...all I want to do is make you happy
For thoughts of me to put a smile on your face
For me to touch you and make your heart flutter..

Because you do these things to me on the regular...

I'm falling in love wit u and now i can control it

Food for the thoughts!!

A code that cant be cracked, 
a mind so open, but locked to those chosen

Lockpick??

Don't even try, your key will be eaten alive
Humiliation so great, it towers over your pride
that's what it is...

A constant fever, cold sweats and such
No security to blanket your thoughts
Vulnerability at its best

Showing no remorse to the weakness u have,
Placing its own in front of everything

Leaving unanswered confusions turn into Confusing answers..

All u wanna walk away with is a working understanding of that being, 
But your left with bits and bits put together to make half of a whole when half isn't enough

Trying to meet all standards set, abandoning your own..
Unsafe territory, and your the only flare for safety....

It's o.k though, as soon as one realizes that they are the top priority over others,
One will be able to connect with another

If We were lovers

If you loved me you would care
If you loved me you would be there
If you loved me you would stay and just chill,
Is that okay?
You may not know how much I care for you,
But my love for you is really true!
When I'm with you,
You bring me so much joy!
I'm just wondering can you be my playtoy?
This is how I feel for you
Yes, these things I say are really true!!
If we were lovers would you care for me?
If we were lovers would you be there for me?
If we were lovers would you cry for me?
Ride with me?
Die for me, If we were lovers?
If we were lovers would you stay by my side?
If we were lovers would you love me do or die?
If we were lovers what would you do for me physically, emotionally, if we were lovers?

Signs of Love Making

Come a little closer because I want you to hear all the freaky things I'm about to whisper in your ear.
Baby when it comes to fore play, I could be with you all day.
Don't take it for granted because what I'm about to do to you,
No one has ever done to you before.
I'll give you hints of every little detail just to make sure that my plan does not fail.
Pay close attention to what I say,
Because there are the signs,
The signs of love making!!

Love is not a game

Mountain high valley low there's no place that I'd rather go cause' you're the only one for me,
Oh baby why can't you just see that I want you so bad,
You're the one that I wish I had and I just can't let you go because my love for you will grow.
See you just don't understand I want you in my life,
But you have to make a vow to me that you'll never do me trife,
I do really love you and I know you feel the same,
But don't play with my emotions because my love is not a game.
Baby my love for you is strong I've been feeling this way for so long.
My emotions I cannot hide and our love I cannot abide.
It's just the way you make me feel and it tells me our love is real,
So just come and let me know or else you can hit the door.

Let Me Know!!

Looking in the mirror I can see myself wanting you and nobody else.
Needing you here with me in my life baby.
So now I ask you one thing: is it love you want to bring to m life and to yours?
I'll give you what you want and more but before we go to far,
I need to know where you are in my life at this time because I want to make you mine.
Just let me know where we are before we mess up and go to far cause I wouldn't want this to end.
You are my lover and my friend.

The keys to life

P.S. never pretended to be something I'm not just thought I'll write you a piece of motivation from me to you:
Life isn't easy
Life isn't hard
There are moments that you will sometimes fall
Never give up nor ever give in
To each it's own, courage "everybody sin"
Life is precious & contains time
Never allow one to Corrupt your PEACE OF MIND!!!
There are opportunites thats up to you to open it's many doors
The key to Life is one who Matures!
accepting all that it brings and still Standing strong through the Storms and Pains!!!
Ignoring Ignorance and Prevailing Success
Knowing  No matter What"God Loves you Best"
Being mindful that there's NO one you need to Impress
ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING & EVERYTHING IT IS
TREASURE YOUR LIFE AS THOUGH ITS THE LAST TIME YOU LIVE
GIVE IT YOUR ALL
LIVE FOR TODAY & DREAMING FOR A TOMMARROW
AND NOT THE REGRETS OF SORROW
THERE'S ONLY ONE LIFE,ONE TRUE LOVE FROM WHENCE ALL OUR HELP COMETH AND THAT IS WHATS ABOVE!
STAYING HUMBLE AND NOT PRIDEFUL
wisdom knowing that God bless the humble and resist the proud
LIVING IN THE PRESENT, LEAVING THE PAST BEHIND YOU AND SMILING FOR YOUR FUTURE!
ANALYZING AND LOVING SELF
BEFORE JUDGING OTHERS
& with ALL THESE OBSTACLES LIFE BRINGS,
HAVE FAITH, BELIEVE, AND YOU'LL FIND YOU CAN MAKE IT THROUGH ANYTHING!!!
                      

Is he worth my time?

OK people. Here is a list of is this guy worth my time questions that you can think of as ur first line of defense:
Do u have any kids? If yes, how many and how many mother's? How would you describe your relationship with the children.. there mother's?
When was ya last relationship?
Have you ever been convicted of a felony or any other crime that u have had to spend time in jail for? If yes, Explain.
What is a credit score or at the least is it good?
Do u have a job or go to school or both?
Do u have a diploma?
Can u pass a drug screening test?
If not what drugs do u do (marijuana is a drug)? If others dont even finish this questionnaire.
What do u look 4 in a girl?
How often do u get tested for std's?
Whats your favorite sign, food, color, position, timeof year, place2 go, etc?
What do u like about me so far?
Is there any information you would like 2 share with me now regardless of what?

Fool Me!!

Fool me once
Shame on me
Fool me twice
The time for reflection is in that moment.

Only my moment
Has dawned past
Past its expiration date.

In a haze
Life becomes a never ending maze
Caught in all the world's craze
And I'm standing amid it in a daze.

Not knowing
But fighting continuosly through
Nurturing, Caring, Sharing, Soothing you
All the while Mentally, Spiritually, Physically
Making Do

The definition of a woman explained
Life of a Black woman famed
This is who we are, what we are born to be

Tragically,
Many stand alone
Trying to carry that burden on her own

Unappreciated
Underloved
Lied to
Beaten
Led astray

Her very essence toyed with
Leaving our society in disarray

How can anyone gow to love, to live, to be in better place when her womb gives life and she is impergnated with the turmoil in her soul?

To whom this may concern

To whom this may concern I don't even know you.
To whom this may concern who in the hell are you?
To whom this may concern why do you care about me?
To whom this may concern mind your own damn business!
To whom this may concern please leave me alone.
To whom this may concern please don't come to my home.
To whom this may concern I'm the one who gave you life.
To whom this may concern hell no I won't be your wife!
To whom this may concern please leave me be.
To whom this may concern I know you hate me.
To whom this may concern I hate you so much.
To whom this may concern you make me want to throw up!

Random

 So I took my first test in Environmental Science. I am super nervous!!! I felt pretty good with answering the questions, even with answering the fill-in-the blank and short answer questions. I am still super nervous about getting my grade back. I am not a good test taker at all!!! I will just have to wait ad see what the outcome is and how well I did. I pray that I get a passing grade. Even if I get a 60 I will still have a B+ average. Oh goodness............what am I going to do!!!???

6 Word Memoirs

The Crazy Shit My Grandmother Says!
What He Doesn't Know Won't Hurt!
I Don't Remember I Said That!
Girls Taking The Walk Of Shame!
Who Wants To Be A Penisaire!
What Sound Does The Heiffer Make?
Marijuana Is My Only Best Friend!
Who Ate All The Fried Chicken?
Why Won't You Love Me Damnit?
I Run Because I Have To!
Sex And Alcohol.......Very Bad Idea!!
What Did He Think Would Happen?

Love in the Hood

Love is a four letter word,

Could it last forever?

Could it's kindled spirits survive in this world?

Or could it be faultered by disaster?

I don't know about all that

But I know that in the hood,

Love is always taken for granted.

The niggas and the hustlers make the word hard to understand,

Confusing real ones and fake ones.

Girls think that boys be guiding their hearts to happiness and success,

But all they really do is trick them into heartbreak and failure.

Most of the time all the boys be doing is trying to get into their panties.

I'm not saying that they are different,

But that they are the same as normal people.

So the next time you meet a boy,

 And he asks you if you've got a boyfriend,

And you want to know if he's a thug or a wanna be player,

Just ask him what's the true meaning of love,

THEN YOU WILL SEE!!!!

Love

     What is love? Never a straight answer.

Love is hate, love is beauty, love is murder.

Why do so many people misuse and abuse the word love?

Why do people tell you they love you when they don't really mean it?

How about instead of just saying "I Love You" because you think it's what they want to hear,

You say "I Love You" because it's actually how you feel?

Love will make you do some crazy things.

Like have sex in the craziest places,

Or commit crimes for the one you love.

Love can make you go insane and lose your mind.

It can also cause you to lose your life.

See people don't realize that if you play around with the word "Love"

It can and will get you into a whole heap of trouble.

People believe that money is the root to all evil,

But I beg to differ.

I believe that love is the root to all evil.

Time

                  As the days become shorter and the nights grow longer time swiftly rolls by. What is this thing we call "Time"? Why is it so important and influences everyday life? Is it because we have so little of it to begin with? Or is it because we as a  society are rushing to end our lives? Yes, time is a precious thing that shouldn't be wasted but it doesn't mean that we have to spend every waking moment of our lives rushing through everything.
                 See what people fail to realize is the fact that the more you rush the faster the time slips away. Maybe if people just took their time and lived life, then so many people wouldn't kill or be killed. Maybe if people just rolled along with the time instead of trying to stop it or rush through it then Dr. Martin Luther King would still be alive as well as President John F. Kennedy. Just think about it, we discovered time for a reason, not to abuse and misuse it, but to capitalize from it.

You Were Wrong

You were wrong and you don't even care.
You were wrong and you blamed me.
All this time I thought we were past this stage.
All the times I stuck by you!
Though all the shit you put me through,
I still gave you chance after chance and even trusted you!
You were wrong and you know it,
But you are just too proud to show it.
 I miss the times we had when you were non-judgmental.
 I miss the times we had when you showed me you loved me and were sentimental.
You were wrong so I gave you back your ring.
You were wrong and to you it doesn't mean a damn thing!
I never betrayed you in any kind of way.
I never betrayed you even till' this day.
You were wrong and you want me to bare your seed.
You were wrong but you can't even confess the deed!
You gave me a ring to become Mrs. You!!
But if you want me to wear it then get back on your knees and confess.
You were wrong and you expect me to just forgive?
You were wrong but you just can't get it through your head.
Why do you always blame your insecurities on everyone else?
Why can't you just see that this is about you and your mess?
You were wrong about why I am so angry at you.
You were wrong about me choosing my friends too!
If you can't see the truth through your eyes,
Then what you told me about you changing was nothing but a big lie!
You were wrong and I pray that you realize before it's too late.
You were wrong and you taking it lightly is the one thing I hate.
If this is how it's gonna be then that's the way it is!
But know if that's the truth then don't expect me to wear that ring or to bare your kids!!!!

Untitled

Why do we continue to fight?
Why can't I believe anything that you say?
Why is it so hard for you to accept the way I feel about you?
Is it because you are afraid of my true feelings?
Is it because you have finally found your true love?
Or simply is it the fact that you don't really love me like you say you do?
So now what do I do?
Do I stay, hoping that one day I will understand you?
Or do I go and leave to protect my heart once more?
I don't know what to do because I don't want to lose you.
I really do mean everything I say and it's true,
But the number one question in my mind is do you?

Fearless

It comes from down within the deepest darkest part of my soul

It feels as if I was reborn from my head down to my toes

The world is spinning out of control and the earth turns pitch black

You try to fake like its fiction when you know it’s a fact

But I know that you are out doing you and I am not afraid

You threaten me with silly little slurs and sidebars

As if that will get you your way and make me feel like less of a woman

But little do you know I have changed, yes, I have changed

No longer will you hold a power of insecurities over me

No longer will you use my fear against me

No longer will you make me bite my tongue in fear of losing you

No, no, no, you no longer have that power over me

You no longer have power or control over my mental and emotional capabilities

No I have that now, I have found myself

I am no longer afraid of being alone

For I was born alone and I shall die the same

So go ahead and say what you want to

Go ahead and do what it is you want to and can’t wait to do

For I will no longer try to beg and stop you

I can do bad all by myself and I don’t need the extra baggage

For I am stronger

For I am wiser

For I am unafraid

And that, that makes me FEARLESS!